Final Moments
by Living in a fantasy
Summary: In the last moments of your life, what do you think about? Do you think about the ways you could have avoided death? Or maybe how your life could have been in the future? Maybe you think only of the pain of the moment…or do you think of the one you love?


AN: Wow. I can't believe I even wrote this. I'm usually not super angsty…well I do write that, but it usually ends up being more fluff. This is just…different. I've always wanted to write something more serious, and after reading the final chapter of Amoeba by Mail Jeevus…it's an amazing story and…not like this at all really, but the last chapter inspired me to write something serious. Over two hours later, I bring you this. This was one of those stories that started by me opening the word document with no idea what to write, but after the first sentence I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I hope you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over Death Note.

Warnings: Rated for language and sex. Yes you read right, sex. It's not very descriptive, but you definitely know what they're doing. And without further ado, I bring you Final Moments.

/…/…/…/…/

_In the last moments of your life, what do you think about? Do you think about the ways you could have avoided death? Or maybe how your life could have been in the future? Maybe you think only of the pain of the moment…or do you remember? Think about those meetings and new friendships that meant so much?_

"You look like such a nerd."

The redhead looked up from his game, eyes traveling slowly up the slim figure of the blond boy before settling finally on his face. He said nothing for a moment, simply observing that boy munching on a chocolate bar in front of him. The boy glared at him when he made no response, eyes narrowing dangerously, and Matt could feel the power within the boy, even at the tender age of seven.

"What?" The boy asked then, daring Matt to respond. And respond Matt did.

"You look like a girl."

A punch in the face would normally be the start of a rivalry or an enemy, but for Matt and Mello, it was the start of a friendship. Mello had never had someone stand up to him, and Matt had never had someone even bother to speak a word to him. Thus a rocky friendship began. A new tree sprouting amid a pile of snow in the start of spring. Weak, and rough, but still with the chance to grow, and prosper.

_Do you think about those simple times that could never be replaced? Precious moments lost in your memory under the stress of work and danger?_

A sharp gasp filled the room, eyes clouded in memory and fear. Red hair sticking uncomfortably to skin, breaths ragged and panting. Matt sat up quickly, eyes shifting towards his best friend's bed of their own accord. Shaking, he stood and maneuvered through the room, avoiding clothes and games from pure memory, willing the thoughts and memory of the nightmare to just stop plaguing him, just for a moment until he can reach his blond-haired savior.

"Mello," he gasps at last, clutching at the boys pajamas and weakly shaking him. Mello's eyes open slowly and groggily at first, until he sees the tear-filled eyes. And just like that he's moved aside, wordlessly inviting Matt into his bed, and Matt is quick to comply, curling into Mello's protective embrace.

In all his nine years Matt has never felt this much trust and affection for one person. Mello would be there, Mello would protect him. Always. He was always there, when the nightmares struck, when the bullies tried to bother him, when he just needed someone to comfort him. Mello was always the one there.

He was there, murmuring comforting words in his ear as he held Matt close. He was there, rocking him gently and telling him it was okay, hand moving away from Matt a moment to feel along the floor until he found his precious Gameboy, placing it carefully in the redheads hands and turning it on for him. And Matt didn't relax when the comforting sounds of Mario filled his ears, but when Mello wrapped his arms around him and settled his chin on his shoulder.

Mello had to be there. Always.

_Do you remember moments of your life you would rather forget? Pointless fights and arguments that wasted your time and made your life miserable, if only for a short while?_

Mello did not often get angry with Matt, but when he did he held a grudge. Mello and Matt, while only twelve, were well known at Wammy's as being inseparable. Mello and Matt together were not to be messed with.

But when Mello was angry, he instigated the messing.

Mello, being second in all of Wammy, was highly looked up to and feared. When Mello and Matt were fighting, he used that power and turned it against Matt.

Matt was used to the insults, the small amount of pushing around, but what he was not used to was returning to his and Mello's room and finding his Gameboy, the only memento from his mother that he had, lying broken on the floor.

And even if he had grown past the tears from nightmares every night, he had not grown passed this. He pulled the goggles away from his eyes, throat tight as he felt his eyes began to water. The only gift from his mother…

He morosely turned on the Gameboy, but nothing happened. The screen was un-cracked, but the back was riddled with marks and broken pieces of plastic.

Mello only had to take one look at that distraught face when he walked into the room to know someone had taken things too far.

But it almost seemed worth the fight later, when a boy by the name of Travis shoved Matt as he passed, not noticing Mello several feet in front of him.

And Mello snarled, turning back and gripping Travis' shirt and slamming him against the wall. The surrounding children gasped as Mello leaned in close, rage pure on his face. "If you _ever_ touch him again I will personally rip every one of your fingers off before beating your pathetic ass so hard that you'll _wish_ I had just killed you!"

No one ever messed with Matt again after that, and Mello never tried to influence the children to hurt his only friend.

And several weeks later, when Matt returned to their room, he found his Gameboy sitting on his bed, miraculously fixed, with Mello sitting beside it, smiling.

_Do you remember the moments that hurt you so much that your heart felt it was being torn to pieces? Moments in time where nothing could go right?_

"I'm leaving."

"What?!"

"L's dead. Near is L's successor. It's over. I can't stay here anymore."

"W-wait," Matt stammered, catching Mello's arm as the blond continued to stuff clothes in a duffel bag. "You can't! You're not even fifteen! You can't make it out there!"

Mello's eyes were cold and unwavering as he shrugged Matt off and continued packing. "I have to do this, and you can't stop me."

"Mello please-"

"You won't change my mind!" Mello roared, and Matt cringed despite himself. He had never felt that much venom and malice directed towards him from Mello before, and it hurt. It hurt almost as much as knowing he may never see the blond again.

Mello finished packing and moved towards the door, not glancing back. Matt, being unable to handle it, raced towards the door and blocked it. "Mello-"

"Move out of my way Matt." His eyes were unyielding, so different from the Mello Matt was used to seeing. He faltered, visibly deflating as he realized that nothing he could say would make his best friend stay.

Slowly he moved away from the door. Mello's hand had just touched the doorknob when Matt's quiet voice broke the tense silence. "I'll miss you."

Mello's hand tightened around the doorknob, fighting to keep himself from Matt's eyes.

"I…I'll really miss you," he said, voice cracking as he fought to hold back the tears threatening to erupt.

Mello turned towards him then, moving forward to pull Matt into a tight embrace. "I'll miss you too," he whispered, feeling an awful tightening in his own throat. He gave a final squeeze then pulled back. Before he could change his mind (because he couldn't, he couldn't let himself do that) he opened the door and stepped out. Matt could just make out a soft, broken "I'm sorry," before the door closed, and just like that, Mello was gone.

And their friendship that had grown so strong and gone through so much was abruptly hindered, a cold winter falling upon it and leaving both boys alone and unprotected.

_Do you remember reunions filled with joy and life? Do you remember the moments that made you feel alive again?_

"Mello…?" Shock, disbelief, and so much hope were infused into one tone, one matured voice of seventeen.

"Matt." The voice was different. Colder. But affection leaked into it, filling the blackness with color once again.

And Matt could see, under the leather, the cool smirk, the danger the blond excluded, it was still his Mello. After these long, terrible, lifeless years, he had his Mello back.

After all, winter is only a cause for hibernation, not death.

_Is it the memory of that first magical kiss that sparks through your mind? The thoughts of something new and exciting overriding any fear of the unknown?_

"I don't like this Mello. I don't like you working with the Mafia."

Exasperated, Mello turned on the gamer, advancing on him slowly as the words spilled from his mouth. "What do you want me to fucking do then?! Near has all the resources and the power to go after Kira! I have nothing except these connections I've managed to make! Why would you try and get me to break away from them!"

Mello was inches away from Matt now, eyes narrowed dangerously and hands clenched tightly. Matt looked at him a moment before leaning forward slightly, breath mixing with Mello's as he whispered; "I just don't want you to get hurt."

Mello, surprised, allowed his hands to relax at his side, searching Matt's eyes for a sign of a lie. But all he could find was sincerity and worry in that gaze, and without even meaning to, his hand slowly came to rest on Matt's shoulder. "I won't."

Matt couldn't tear his eyes away from Mello's, and he was suddenly nervous being this close to Mello. This all felt too intimate for them, too close. But he instinctively moved even closer, pressed against the blond, worry etched in his face as his hands hesitantly fell to the others waist. "How do you know? Mel…if I lost you again…I don't know…I couldn't…" he trailed off, unsure, but no further words were needed as Mello's lips descended upon his, a tender kiss, sweet and filled with affection, if not a bit of awkwardness.

And for a moment they forgot Kira. They forgot the Mafia, they forgot Near, because all that mattered was this moment, and no one could take it from them.

_Do you remember the times you were closer to that person then anything? The moments when your hearts beat in sync and your minds focused solely on each other?_

"M-Mello." Gasps in between words as their sweat-slicked bodies moved against one another's.

Mouth over mouth, tongues dancing together and hands wandering across each other. Stroking and exploring, quickly but at the same time slowly, as if they were memorizing each others body strictly through touch.

Mello's mouth left Matt's, tracing kisses across his cheek and to his neck, causing low moans to erupt from Matt's mouth as he thrusted up towards the blond against his will. "Mello please."

But Mello isn't prepared to wait any longer either, and the preparation is quick. Their hearts are beating too fast, faster than either think should be humanly possible. And when Mello enters for the first time neither can breathe they're so overwhelmed. Matt's whimpers of pain are silenced as Mello kisses him softly, then harder, alternating until Matt has grown accustomed to him. Mello breaks away and looks deep into Matt's eyes, their breathing in sync until Matt finally tells Mello to move.

The night is filled with passionate thrusts and moaned exclamations, hands tangled in hair and bodies pressed as close as possible. Because close is never close enough, because neither of them have ever felt this much for one person before. And somehow they knew that all along. No feelings, no victory over any person, any self-proclaimed God, could ever top this closeness they have found with each other.

_Is it the terror of a previous experience that captures your thoughts? A moment when you thought it was all over?_

"So stupid. God Mello you're so fucking stupid!" Matt screamed to no one, falling to his knees beside the bed he had placed Mello in. Newly wrapped bandages covered the once flawless face. Labored breaths escaped the blond as he fought for his life, and all Matt could do was watch.

He neglected to eat, to sleep, to even move from that spot as he watched over Mello. His cigarettes were left forgotten in the drawer and his games left untouched. Matt had never been scared more in his entire life then after that phone call from Mello, the broken voice asking for Matt to come get him

If Mello died now, Matt knew he couldn't handle it. Mello had to be alright. He just had to be, because if he wasn't, Matt knew he never would be either.

_Is it the flutter in your heart you remember when your significant other first told you they loved you? When those three words you so longed to hear were finally spoken?_

When Mello's eyes finally opened, it was all Matt could do not to fall upon him and weep with happiness. Even so, he couldn't stop the few tears that escaped as Mello's eyes focused on him. Only him. He was alive.

"I love you," he whispered before Mello could attempt to speak. He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Mello's lips. "I love you so much. More then anything."

If he didn't get it out now, what if it was too late later? His heart was pounding as he pulled away, eyes trained on Mello as the blond managed a weak smile.

"Matt. I love you too." His voice was hoarse and rough, filled with pain, but at the same time infused with more love and gratefulness then Matt ever imagined he'd hear from that boys lips.

It was the most beautiful thing he ever heard.

_Do you think about meaningless days that don't seem so meaningless anymore? Simple moments that made your day worthwhile?_

Mello slammed the door shut behind him, storming into the living room where Matt was seated playing a game. The redhead looked up as Mello violently tossed his coat on the couch.

"Mello?"

"Fucking Near!" he yelled suddenly. "I'm not his tool in this race! He can't dismiss me that easily! I won't give up!" he announced, fists cracking a chocolate bar as he strode to his bedroom and proceeded to slam that door shut behind him.

He was left alone for barely fifteen minutes before he heard the door open. "I don't want to talk about it Matt," he snapped, glare directed at the wall, back to the door. There was no verbal response as the footsteps continued towards him. "I told you-"he started to say, but stopped when a mug of hot chocolate was placed gently in his hands. Mello looked up as Matt leaned down, leaving a sweet kiss on his lips before smiling, hand tracing across his cheek and leaving the room.

Mello sat there a moment longer before sipping the hot chocolate. It was warm and sweet, perfect. And suddenly realizing what an ass he had been to his boyfriend after not seeing him for days, he stood abruptly and walked back into the living room, where Matt was sitting playing his game again.

Mello reached out and kindly paused the game for Matt before wrapping his arms around the gamer's shoulders and pulling him close. Matt returned the embrace fondly as Mello rested his head against Matt's."Stay with me forever," he requested at last.

"Where else would I go?"

_Do you remember the last moments of your life? The events leading up to your ultimate death? _

"It's time."

Neither man moved towards the door.

They'd gone through so much. Their relationship had grown and blossomed into something pure and beautiful, something no events could ever damage. Nothing could tear them apart, and although their deaths seemed imminent, both trusted that they would forever remain in each others arms.

Mello moved first, cupping Matt's face with one hand, the other falling to his waist. "You still look like a nerd," he said.

Matt laughed. "And you still look like a girl."

Mello laughed too and pressed his forehead to Matt's. Neither said anything for a while, simply enjoying each others presence for as long as possible. Finally Mello stepped back. "We have to go."

They didn't say goodbye, their final kiss did that for them. It was filled with unspoken apologies, regret for there not being more time, but above all, the love that both had grown to feel for each other. When they broke away, both smiled sadly, Matt taking a deep breath and a step back. "I love you Mihael," he told him, voice tight.

"I love you too Mail," Mello said, blinking rapidly and kissing him once more on the lips. He mounted his motorcycle, and Matt entered his car. They shared one last glance, and then both started their respective vehicles, hoping against all hope that somehow they would both make it though this alive.

_In the last moments of your life, what do you think about? Do you think about the ways you could have avoided death? Or maybe how your life could have been in the future? Maybe you think only of the pain of the moment…or do you think of the one you love? The one who means more to you then anyone in the world? The one you would fight for, cry for, and die for…the person that makes your life worth living. Would you think of them, as your vision fails you and you feel your heartbeat slowing to a stop?_

"Mello…"

"Matt…"

Lungs giving out, heart stopping. Breathe in, breathe out. Panic, regret, resentment. All common things to feel, in the heat of the moment. But then acceptance, and peace. Because what's the point of fighting the inevitable with the last of your strength, when you can spend those precious seconds thinking, remembering, appreciating the one thing you love most?

"I'll see you on the other side."

"Wait for me Matty, I'm coming."

/…/…/…/

AN: I'm actually very proud of this. I don't think it could have turned out better. The last section, the end, I actually wrote right after the first section, and it's my favorite part of the fanfiction.

Anyway please review and tell me what you thought. I'll love you for it!


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